The Little World

A pause in the litany of sin today – It’s my birthday and I thought you deserved a little variety in the column. Back to the grind tomorrow…

I am a relatively recent returnee to the hobby of model kit building – though I have been whacking away at scratchbuilt structures and repurposed die-casts for several years. So if I give you advice about building kits, take it with a grain of Milliput. Nevertheless, I have been formulating some rules for the Little Worksop.

a. Do not believe about 60% of what you read on the internet.

b. Do not believe about 60% of the paint schemes that are put out  – if it is box art, jack that up to 76%.

c. Do look for actual photos of the vehicles or aircraft you’re going to build. Colour pictures if possible, but black and white if all else fails.

d. Don’t be disappointed if you can’t find any – it just means that they haven’t been uploaded from someone’s shoebox yet. Also don’t be surprised if the pictures you do find seem to be the same aircraft as the one depicted on the box art. Other people have Google too…

e. Don’t overlook anything on the sprues. More and more makers are putting variant parts on the same sprue and if you know what to do with them you could have an entirely different model. Save those spare parts.

f. Save the unused decals – even if you aren’t building a particular model, someone else might wish to, You can sell or trade the decals.

g. Look carefully at the decals. If they look dodgy and horrible on the paper they’ll look worse on the model. Not every marking is needed to make a good model – better not there than badly placed.

h. There will always be more models made than you can afford.

i. The shops might only get one of any particular thing in for sale – keep a spare envelope of money ready in case you encounter a once-in-a-lifetime kit.

j. Re-issues are sometimes better than the original but more often are worse. Worn moulds and indifferent workers can make the old model a very hard thing to build.

k. Plastic warps. There are traps out there for the unwary. The Revell Convair Tradewind seaplane of the 1950’s was a case in point. A bitter disappointment.

l. Everyone knows how you could have done something different, but only some of them know how you could do it better. You’ll learn to distinguish the advice after a few episodes of pain.

m. If you enter a scale model contest, you will meet competitors whose behaviour would make an interesting study. Their mindset exists in all sports, hobbies, and arts. Be honourable yourself.

n. Do not let the stash outrun your time available to build, lest it overpower your mind and lead you to despair. Better one unbuilt model and a keen leap for the box than three dozen that you can’t really decide where to start on.

o. Find the paint you like to use and the way you like to apply it – then exercise with it enough that you can exploit all of the physical characteristics to the full. Experiment to begin with and analyse what you really want. Then stick to that.

p. No need to build everything with a pin, a toothpick and a jackknife. There are tools galore in the hobby shop that are not expensive and that make your work much more enjoyable. All the same, beware boxed sets of tool – they are someone else’s opinion of how you ought to work and they might not know you.

q. Plastic, wood, paper, metal, and card are all useful in different places, and there can be optimal choices when you want to build a structure or vehicle. You may admire someone for building a model out of unsuitable material, but it is the sort of recognition that you give to a skilful circus clown rather than a great actor. Part of you always thinks how much better the skill could have been utilised.

r. Not all models need to be accurate to please their builders. If you encounter someone who is proud and delighted with a flawed production, be kind to them and help them celebrate their work. Another time they may see fit to make a precise job of it. Give ’em wiggle room.

s. Glue, adhesive, cement, solder, welding, and bolts all fail eventually.

t. You will be horrified by something you’ve made at some stage of the game. Do not destroy it. It can help you far more in the future as a caution than as a prize.

u. You’ll buy a kit one day that is inordinately expensive and looks to be the most wonderful experience you’ll ever have. You’ll meet girls like that too…and the sense of disappointment when you discover you’ve been had will be about the same. The remedy is similar – walk away with dignity.

v. If you discover a mistake that can be corrected in your build, do that to the best of your ability as soon as you find it. You’ll have a lot better feeling about yourself.

w. Not every instruction sheet is correct. Dry-fit all the assemblies and make your own decisions about where things go and when to glue them.

x. Not every model is made in the correct scale – the box may say something that is belied by the actual structure. If you suspect it, measure it according to actual specs. Then decide whether to carry on or not.

z. Finally – have fun. When it becomes hard work, either work hard or lay it aside for a while. Regard a hobby as a hobby, not a calling, job, or profession.