The Little World

There is a certain point in your wife’s beauty routine that you should not see. Lovers may never see it, if their lady is careful. Husbands will inevitably happen upon it at some stage of the game.

The shock will be severe. It may lead the man to blurt out a cry of dismay. This will be used against him for ever more. The best thing to do is to say nothing at all and avert your eyes. If the lady is wise she will make no reference to it – it is like the meeting of two Methodists in a liquor store. If it is never alluded to life may be lived peaceably for decades.

The same applies to a model kit in the process of building or painting. Scratch-built items like boat hulls can be daunting but inspiring if seen in a ribs and strake condition. Ditto R/C models when they are just balsa panels and pushrods. But nothing can make a half-camouflaged plastic model look appetising. The best that you can think of it is that it looks like a sea slug.

I get extremely frugal in my masking when the cheap supplies of Ustar masking tape dry up. I keep each off-cut from the longer pieces and apply them around the White Tac snakes to stabilise them. Like Hormel, I can be said to use up every part of the pig except the squeal. I do not welcome long camouflage masking sessions but at least I can see progress as I do it and the soft edge of the camouflage pattern makes it worthwhile.