The Little World

When someone looks at your Little World, or your Little Workshop, or your Little Sewing Room and says:

a. ” What’s the point? ”

Show them the point . Excel and Swann Morton make an excellent range of points and a fresh one always penetrates their consciousness far better than one that has been used to trim spues or carve hardwood. This is not the time to skimp – put on a fresh point. Press it home.

b. ” I’ll bet that cost a fortune. ”

The best answer is ” ” No, actually I stole most of the raw materials. ” Be calm, be neutral, do not smile.

c. ” Is that good fun? ”

You must become very serious. Say ” No. I have been prescribed it as an exercise by my therapist. ” If you are of a religious bent say that it is a penance imposed by your confessor. Do not break a smile.

d. ” I wish I could do that. ”

This is a good thing to hear. Draw them up a chair. Put something into their hands – a model, a tool, a brush…Assure them that they can do anything they like. Ask them what part of the thing they are looking at is their favourite. Then show them how to do it. Take time, take care…and with a bit of luck you will have made a new Little Worlder.

e. ” I had one just like that. ”

If they are pointing to an Airfix Mustang painted in gloss enamel with glue fingerprints on the canopy, it is likely that they really did have one like that. If you bought it at a swap meet it might actually have been the same one. You have a wonderful point of similarity in your life and you can now cheerfully chat for hours.

If they are pointing to a hand-carved triplane flying boat that took you four years of scratchbuilding to complete and is the only one of its kind in the world, then you are in a bit of a pickle. Do you politely scoff and endeavour to outline the years of toil that went into it…knowing full well that they don’t care. Or do you ask which maker issued the kit? Or do you just turn out the light in the model room and go find a drink?

f. ” Aren’t you a bit old for toys? ”

State your age with clinical exactitude and ask politely precisely what activity your age qualifies you for. If your questioner is incautious ( and anyone who lets out some of these questions is just that…) they may name something that they do. This is your cue to ask whether whatever it is really the sort of thing that a truly moral person would engage in. That’ll raise the tone of the conversation and the eyebrows of the listener. Ask them to justify the morality and insist upon a full answer. Don’t expect them to visit again, though…

g. ” Can I get one of them for my kid? ”

Sure. The hobby shop sells the kit. Ask for glue and paint. Yes, it really does cost that much.

h. ” Is that real? ”

Now this is a question that comes more often than you would think and in more hobbies than just the Little World. The historical re-enactors get it all the time…and it can be asked about any number of things – a steel helmet – a loaf of bread – a camp fire. It can be a test of the patience of the re-enactor to give a measured response when what they want to do is hit the idiot with the object in question to prove which is realer…

For the Little World, we can dodge sideways a bit – regard the question in the light of ” Is that a model representation of something that is or was real? ” Upon that basis, it can be regarded as a cogent question. If they are pointing to an Orc or elf or a scale model of a member of Parliament, just sigh and gently tell them no.