The Little World

I won two trophies today for a very minor achievement – a model diorama at a toy collector’s fair – but it will involve me in a major change to my life. I am going to have to become an entirely new man. My past life must be discarded.

I started life as Richard William Stein – a choice made for me by my parents, Richard Carl and Helen Josephine Stein. They used the surname Stein as it had been passed onto them by Adam and Elizabeth Stein in the early part of the 20th century. The other name – Sheedy, had been extinguished in the conventional practice of taking the husband’s name upon marriage, but I assure you that every day I live, I can find some Irish in me. Also some Viennese Jewish influence from the Leopold family. But that is beside the point. I shall leave the ancestors to sort it out amongst themselves wherever they are…

Back to here and now. I filled out the form to enroll in the model collector’s club a year or so ago with the surname ” Stein “. It was accepted, together with the year’s dues. The money worked, but the name didn’t – I’ve been ” Styne ” on every trophy since.

It may be teutophobia – the aversion that the English have to anything German. It may be anti-Semitism, though probably not – these are simple  and kindly people. It might just be bad eyesight as most of the members are my age and I don’t see all that well. Whatever it is, it means that I am going to have to engage in a lot of legal work in the future. I need to change my name.

The bank and the Taxation Office will be straight forward. The striptease club and the discount scheme at the auto part shop equally so. The real problem will be Facebook who have always known me by my original name and may be loath to change it.

Before I finally throw out all the old family photos and school certificates and love letters, I need to make sure that I am not attaching myself to a monster. Somewhere there may be a Dick Styne that has robbed banks or molested actresses or campaigned for Parliament. I do not wish to be tarred with that brush. Far better to throw out the trophies.