The Little World

You can discern the character of a man – or of a woman – by their behaviour in the shops. The only difference between the sexes in this discussion is the sort of shop that they frequent – in the case of the man we’ll place him in a DIY centre or hobby shop and in the case of the woman in a fabric store or craft shop.

a. The first test will be if they go into strange premises. If the shop does not have the goods openly displayed in logical order with signs directing shoppers, does our candidate go and ask for directions? Do they act upon that advice? Or do the buzz about like flies trapped in a bottle – bouncing off shelves?

b. The second test will be if they go into familiar surroundings. Do they go directly to what they wish to inspect? Or do they bounce around like a fly in a bottle?

c. The third test will come when we observe them at the shelf that contains the product they are interested in. You they inspect the shelf of goods with their eyes? Or do they – like children – reach out to touch everything? While this is certainly sensible in the case of something that is boxed with information on every side of the container, you have to wonder at it when it comes to a bottle of paint or a packet of nails. Surely the salient features of these products are evident visually and do not need to be pawed.

One hesitates to think what other senses they might bring into play in a grocery shop. Smell? Taste? Hearing? And if they were to visit a sex shop…? The thought doesn’t bear contemplation.

d. Do they take the product they want to purchase to the counter or register for the transaction? I ask this because I have seen someone demand that a sales assistant come and pick a bagged accessory off a rack and carry it to the till. And then demand that it be carried to their car. As, possibly, it would have been in the country from which they were kicked out prior to coming to Australia…

e. The next point is delicate. When they ascertain the price of the product, do they haggle? If they do you may set them down for low fellows.

f. Do they ask for help if they are not sure how to use or operate the product? If they do, you may raise them in your estimation; a fool never asks for instruction.

g. Are they polite throughout their transaction? Are they patient with baulky computer programs or credit card terminals?

h. And finally, though you may not have the complete information to assess this…do they come in for a specific thing and buy only that…and not get distracted and purchase a half-dozen other things? That’s a real test of character.

And one I have failed for years…