The Little World

Are you a hobbyist? Are you passionate about politics? Do you want to harm anyone who disagrees with you? Well, take our simple questionnaire to your regular hobby shop and find out if they are innocent or guilty:

1. Question One. What do you think about Trump?
2. Question Two. What do you think about BREXIT?
3. Question Three. What do you think about Matchbox kits?

Depending upon their answers to these vital questions, you can either spend you money there or torch the place with Molotov cocktails.

1. Question Four. Is there life on Mars?
2. Question Five. Is there life on the Moon?
3. Question Six. Is there life in Gosnells?

That was a trick question. The answer is no in every case, but the saving grace is you don’t have to go through Mars or the Moon to get to Albany.

1. Question Seven. What is the difference between amonnial-sulphate thinners and para-amino benzol surfactants.
2. Question Eight. What is the exact shade of Dark Sea Earth Chromate.
3. Question Nine. Why does my tongue go numb when I lick the paint brush?

This should sort out the pseuds from the real hobbyists. No good asking someone which paint to use if they can’t answer directly. Beware anyone who tries to sell you a box of water colours for modelling boats…

Now for the really tough questions:

1. Question Ten. Which manufacturer makes every single model in their range in a different scale so that nothing you build fits with anything else?
2. Question Eleven. Which paint maker has been banned from Albania, China, and Bangladesh for having too many toxic chemicals in their Flat Black?
3. Which railway scenery maker uses ground-up children in their ballast sprinkle?

Once you have completed the form, add up the Yes, No, and Oh Dear God answers and divide by 56. Add the number of times they have bought doughnuts for the modelling club and divide by the number of staff that sneer at you. This will tell you where to do your shopping in the future.