The Little World

Salvation Through Styrene

All you need is a 1/35 Elmer Gantry…And for those of you who are puzzled, google Burt Lancaster and ICM Models. If you still do not get the joke enclose $ 5 in a plain envelope and I will explain it to you.

Do you need Moral reform(TM)? Of course you do. I’ve heard stories about you, and I know they’re true because I started many of them. Before you become completely corrupt and qualify for Parliament, consider taking up scale modelling – and save yourself.

a. Scale modellers have patience. Anyone who has ever bought a kit with 650 separate PE parts on 17 frets will know what I mean. By the time they have all been attached, the modeller makes the Dalai Lama look like Pauline Hanson with a toothache.

b. No, I will not explain.

c. Scale modellers have cleaner floors. These are swept daily, and the debris closely examined.

d. Scale modellers are good with money. They can parlay the rent and food for the family for a month into a battleship kit.

e. Scale modellers are calm and laid-back, as anyone who has seen the judging of a scale model contest would know. No judgementalism there…

f. Scale modellers respect the environment as long as it doesn’t mind corrosive thinners and non-biodegradable sprue trees. The wooden ship modellers plant acorns whenever they walk in the forest. Plastic modellers plant containers of crude oil.