The Little World

We’re a cult.

The building of scale models is not the sort of thing that you can leave to just anyone. You have to be chosen. Who, exactly, does the choosing? You will be told in due course. If the behind-the-scenes investigation report is favourable. Do not try to hide anything – we have ways of finding out…

Of course, had you chosen to knit socks or grow freesias none of this would have come up. We know our own, but are not possessive. There are other pathways up the mountain. We stand in the way of no-one.

However, we will not be toyed with. If you tell us you desire to be a scale modeller, there are certain conventions to which you will be expected to adhere.

a. You must be prepared to spend more money than is wise on kits that are not worth it, and to skimp on necessities to do so. In a pinch you can impoverish your family to pay for the hobby, but don’t try to borrow money from other modellers.

b. You must be prepared to serve an apprenticeship of building badly-made kits before you are allowed to work on good ones. There is a ready supply of the first…

c. You must be prepared to make a mess. If there is someone in your house who would grieve for the finish on the dining-room table, it is better to kill them now and get it over with.

d. You must be prepared to be told that you have used the wrong shade of green or grey by everyone you meet.

e. You cannot accommodate your models and the needs of your family at any one time. One or the other must go.