The Little World

You resent the person who won first place.

The third-place winner detests you both. And the further you get away from the winner’s podium, the deeper the level of hate becomes. That is the nature of contests and competition – you win dislike along with the trophy and the set of dishes.

Sometimes winning second place is no problem. Say you were engaged in a war with Genghis Khan – if you lost a battle you were slaughtered quickly, as well as those who supported you, and there were no more anxieties. Genghis wasn’t given to worrying, either. Altogether a more relaxed approach to life.

” Honourable Mention ” is sometimes offered to the lesser winners in an effort assuage their resentment while not providing any sort of prize. This has also worked for military honours with the ” mentioned in dispatches ” ploy. No-one stops to think that the report might suggest the officer or man should be clapped in irons as a danger to themselves and others.

If you must compete, refuse all honours. The thing looks noble and you are not stuck dusting a damned cup for a year. You can always hold out for inclusion in a Hall Of Infamy.