The Little World

Suppose you are a person who makes scale models of pigs…in the internationally standard scale of 1:26.8. And suppose you are a stickler for accuracy; you subscribe to International Pig Modeller Monthly, you regularly submit your models for scrutiny on the Masochistic Modellers Forum, and you have won Pig Modeller Of The Year at the Manangatang Show three years running.

Now suppose, in addition, that you have picked up the new BaconMasters kit of the Galapagos Green Pig and want to paint it in the authentic shade…but no paint maker has brought out the correct paint. Search as diligently as you might, there is no Galapagos Green on the shelves. What do you do?

1. You complain to the editor.
2. You complain to the shops.
3. You complain to the paint manufacturers.
4. You mix a pot of your own paint from readily available shades.
5. You defend your choice of colour ever after on the forums.

The wise modeller will do all of the above in order, with a suitable time interval between them to allow for the production of the perfect paint. The Galapagos green may languish on the shelf of the stash for years before the modeller gives up hope and just goes ahead and builds it. Even then, there is no escaping the critics who will complain about the hue, the shade, and the chroma – citing untraceable records from the Equadorean Ministry of Agriculture that prove they are right and you are wrong. Expect the argument to dissolve into name calling and nationalism at an early stage of the game.

IF ever a Galapagos Green in a 10ml glass pot is marketed by anyone, there will be a furore that it is not in a squeezy dropper bottle.

Note: Readers who are monolingual – reading and understanding only one language – will come to bless this. Because there will undoubtedly be similar forum rants in every language printed on the instruction sheet. You only have to cope with one.