The Little World

Or in polite terms, ” Who in their right mind…? “.

It is a phrase that whispers to me every time I cruise the kit aisles of HobbyHell. The other part of the question is ” would ever buy this thing? “. The kits or parts or tools or toys in question are not forbidden items. They are not dangerous. They are not illegal. But they are so far out in left field that they stand no chance whatsoever of catching the ball.

Some have come from factories where they quite clearly drink at lunchtime. Those of you who have purchased Amodel or MPM or Mikromir know what I am saying. You’ve stood there gazing at a 1:72 kit of a Soviet armoured portable toilet and tried not to think about the people who would want to build it. And then you’ve turned round to look at the 15 metres of shelf space devoted to repeat models of the Me 109 and added that to the list of puzzlement.

As a kid, I can only remember one model of a Messerschmitt fighter. it was made by Aurora in approximately 1:48 scale and was coloured metallic red. What this did to the imagination and store of airplane knowledge that a 10-year-old might possess is to be imagined. It was only Airfix who corrected my impressions with a 50¢ baggie. Now, if I bought every Me 109 kit in HobbyHell I could not pack them in the car, let alone stagger out to it with them in my arms. It is the herpes of plastic models – even more prolific than the Spitfire.

But back to the oddities. Some are nationalistic statements; the Russian and Ukrainian companies have produced some historic oddities as a way of waving their respective flags. They have found plans in the old Soviet archives for something that was mad as a prototype, killed the test pilot, and was promptly abandoned…and moulded it up. Western modellers can be forgiven for getting a wrong impression and thinking that the flying bidet was a common sight in the Soviet forces. They never told us and we still don’t know. But we can buy a 1:72 model of one for $ 56.00 from HobbyHell.

I can cope with model airplane shelves. I understand the nationalistic promotions, the outright pandering, and the repeat issue of 1950’s box-scale kits. It’s money and money talks. Where I fall down is the toy shelves.

Maybe I am too old for toys. But that cannot be – I am still buying plastic kits. I would buy Meccano or Erector or Dux sets if they were available and reasonably-priced and not bedizened with Star Wars figures or pastel colours. However, I am struggling to see myself or anyone putting out food or drink money for a laser-cut model of a fantasy unicorn. Times is hard enough without the feeling that we are being milked like reluctant cows.

Or at least, warm your hands…