The Little World

Who said Ruritanians are sour drunks living in a postage stamp kingdom? Well, everyone, actually, but that doesn’t stop them from wanting to go South for a holiday.

The sudden availability of used Italian bombers after 1943 was a gift to the Ruritanian royal airline. Prior to this the only passenger carriers were two-seat mail planes and anyone wanting to fly to other European capitals had to either pay a high price or crouch on the wing. The Capronis brought everyone inside!

Not only were they dry, but they had a delightful view out of the many windows of this type. Sometimes the plane would bank sharply and there could be sudden shower of spent cartridge cases but by and large flights to Italy were smooth and efficient.

Post-war tourists did not holiday in the big beach resorts; Rimini, Ancona, etc. Ruritanians are not open-water people. Most of them chose inland villages in mountainous areas where strong drink was distilled locally. Calabria was popular, and when the local families realised that the Ruritanians were not likely to rat them out, friendships blossomed. Turnip brandy does that to you.

The Capronis were successful for years but eventually the engines wore out and Ruritania was forced back onto the ground. Rail travel blossomed in the 60’s and third class carriages were going twice a month to the resorts. Ruritanian trains carried turnip brandy in tank cars instead of baggage wagons. Why carry a suitcase when a 500cl tankard will do?