The Little World

As the war clouds darkened over Europe in the 1930’s, the government of Ruritania realised that the defence of the realm would require additional spending – both for ground and air forces. Fortunately the kingdom is entirely land-locked and has no need for a navy aside from Customs and Excise boats on the lakes to prevent vegetable smuggling. Thus all available funds could be poured into new fortresses, tanks, and airplanes. In one case the experiment was made of fitting an existing tank with wings and aero engines but nothing much came of it apart from an enormous hole in the ground that has since been turned into a municipal swimming pool.

The Throne authorised Commissions That Enquire to be sent to major air forces throughout Europe and also to America to see what was needed. These comprised teams of an Army officer and a courtier to see the plants, airfields, and defence establishments – insofar as the governments of foreign nations were willing to expose them. The British and Americans were quite forthcoming, as were the French. The Italians conducted the entire visit of enquiry like a festival and it was with difficulty that the Italian enquiry team was located on a beach near Sorrento after three weeks of drinking.

The Germans were cooly receptive, though it was noted that no new aircraft were offered. The Ruritanian courtier thought he heard a sotto voce remark between two Luftwaffe officers that there would be enough German aircraft on Ruritanian airfields in due time, but this may have been a mistake. In any case, most negotiations were done through the manufacturers anyway.

The Soviets refused to allow the commissioners any access to anything or anyone. After a week the commission was released from their room in the Lubyanka and returned empty-handed. This probably accounts for the poor reception given to later Soviet offers of time-expired MiGs.

Eventually decisions had to be made regarding air defence and suitable machines. Ruritania is beset by foul weather – the only really sunny period being a two-week interval in the middle of July. Other than that it is fog, rain, snow, and hail, sometimes in rotation. This influenced the Commission in their decision to favour all-weather aircraft of sturdy construction. The threat of foreign bombers was also reduced by the appalling meteorology of the region and a decision was taken to keep only two squadrons of interceptors – the Spring Squadron and the Autumn Squadron. Subsequent events proved this to be a wise economy, as air raids were so infrequent as to be eventually regarded as a form of national holiday, with the population coming out carrying  picnic baskets and bottles of wine to view the aerial show.

The Royal Ruritanian Army Air Force commissioners who went to Great Britain did get a rather nice plaque to commemorate the visit and have used it as the RRAAF motto ever since : ” Placere Vadis “. It has inspired generations.